Building Relationships With Crystal Allies

I began working with crystals in 2013. Up until then I mostly made fun of my niece for constantly having rocks in her bra or shoes and saw little legitimacy in magic rocks. But, then I started meditating and my whole world opened up. One of the most impactful changes was building relationships with crystal allies.

When I first got started, I had a really hard time finding information that told me what to do. There were plenty of resources that listed the various metaphysical properties of an incredible array of stones and crystals. But, very little information on how to actually work with them.

So I’ve decided to create a set of practices that tell you how to actually work with crystals.

Meditation is mandatory


The most important first step is to learn to meditate. Many people get hung up on adopting a perfect lotus position or having the perfect cushion. Don’t let this happen to you. Lay in your bed if that’s what’s most comfortable. The important point is to be in a position where you can allow your body to completely relax.

There are oodles of techniques. The key aspect to focus on is attuning yourself to the present completely and allowing the flow of mental clutter (thoughts, anxiety, shadows, etc) to pass by you without affecting you.

Clear Old Energy from Your Crystal

When you buy a crystal or stone you have little way of knowing what energies have impacted it before it showed up in your life. Minerals are very susceptible to picking up negative energies and thought-forms. Before you can begin working on building relationships with crystal allies, you must help them to free themselves from all energies besides their own.

There are a number of ways to charge and clear your minerals. When buying new stones I usually try to bury mine for a week or so. The earth is your most powerful ally for helping your crystal to release all energy except its own. Be sure to carefully mark the spot where you bury your stones, losing them to your yard as soon as they are purchased is incredibly frustrating. (Yes, I am speaking from experience here.)
For water safe stones, submersion in running water like a river or creek is an incredible way to purge lingering energies. Here is a list of water-soluble stones. Be sure to ascertain that your mineral is not on the list before trying this clearing methodology.

smudging can clear crystals

Smudging is another excellent technique for releasing unwanted energies trapped in your new rock. Palo-santo and sage are two very popular forms of smudging, though burning rosemary or basil is equally effective. Don’t use white sage, it is currently endangered. You can either hold your crystal in the stream of smoke or hold your burning smudge item in the space where your crystals live. I personally prefer to pass them individually directly through the smoke stream. Then I can see how the smoke reacts to each crystal and apply until I am certain each one is completely cleared.

You can give your crystals reiki in order to restore them to their own natural energetic state. I’ve not experimented with it much myself, but it would make sense to me that you could also use the healing green-ray energy to purge clinging thought-forms.

Finally, you can leave your crystals out in moonlight and sunlight to clear and recharge them. Be very careful with prolonged sun exposure, many stones such as amethyst will fade in the sun. The full or waning moon is best for clearing minerals, the waxing or new moon is best for programming crystals.

Meditate with Your Crystal

This is where you really start to build your relationship with your crystal allies. Begin by relaxing and achieving a meditative state with your cleared crystal in your receptive (opposite of the one you write with) hand. With closed eyes, picture your new crystal and ask it to be your friend.

Tune in to the weight of the crystal in your palm. Let your awareness become focused on the place where it contacts your body. Make note of any sensation you perceive. Allow any sensation you do feel to travel up your arm and throughout your body. Spend time simply focused on that sensation and allowing yourself to feel, imagine, or experience whatever comes up for you. Allow your crystal to lead you.

When you’re ready, open your eyes and examine your crystal. If you wear glasses, make sure you leave them off. See if any patterns emerge from the surface of the crystal. It’s okay if nothing does, but make note of anything you see. Admire and appreciate its loveliness.

I consider this activity bonding with my minerals.

Programming Your Crystals with Intention

Sometimes you would like your friend to help you to accomplish a specific purpose. For example, I use blue calcite to help me overcome blocks to my writing. I have one particular blue friend who helps me clear away excuses not to write, crush writer’s block, find inspiration and feed my love of words.

In order to program your crystal to help you in a particular way, meditate with your crystal as described above. After you have fully appreciated your crystal for the lovely, unique being that it is, ask it to help you with your goal. Wait to be sure you do not feel any resistance such as tightening in the throat, chest, or stomach, ringing in the ears, or a phantom negative emotion. If any of these effects occur, seek further clarity before proceeding to program this crystal with that particular intention.

If you’re not met with resistance, hold your stone in your projective (the one you write with) hand and meditate on your intention. Feel your intention run down your arm and into the crystal. Repeat until you feel done. Your crystal is now programmed. You can strengthen this programming by leaving it out in the waxing moon or most especially the new moon.

Programming your crystals with intention

Building Relationships with Crystal Allies

Thank your crystal when you notice its positive benefits in your life. Admire it regularly and give others the opportunity to do so as well. Meditate with it regularly and use the moon cycles to recharge its programming.

The biggest piece of advice I can give is to quit thinking of your crystals as objects that you paid for and own. Begin to think of them as friends that graciously help you or at bare minimum as valuable resources of which you have stewardship. Love them, and they will love you back. And, if you lose one, understand that it had another mission to fulfill and it was time for your paths to diverge.

For more on how to build a relationship with your minerals based on cooperation and respect rather than a transactional relationship, check out Crystal Allies vs Crystal Servants: How to Develop a Strong Relationship with Your Gemstones.

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