What does it mean to develop a relationship with your crystals and why is it important?
This is a question that I often get from friends, family, and clients who are curious about how I work with my gemstones. This article will lay the foundation for how, and more importantly, why, I choose to build a respectful, consensual, and two-way relationship with the minerals that I work with.
The Partnership Narrative: Crystal Allies vs Crystal Servants
Consent creates an enthusiastic partnership. When you honor the energy you seek to influence, you increase your odds of influencing it. Many shamanic practices center on honoring the forces that are called upon.
Consider the partnerships in your own life. The ones that are reciprocal and centered in mutual appreciation probably function the best by far. Energetic partnership with another human being, elemental energies, animals, or crystals are most effective when due consideration is given to the autonomy and well being of both parties.
Giving and receiving gratitude feels good. You are asking your allies to help you do emotional labor, lend you strength, grant you access you cannot otherwise attain, or otherwise support you. Feed them with appreciation. Admire how beautiful they are and give others the opportunity to do so as well.
Quality Time with Your Gemstone Allies
Have you ever had a friend or family member that only calls you when they need something? When it is your time to be heard or comforted or supported, they are unavailable or unwilling to show up? It’s not a good feeling and it certainly doesn’t make you feel enthusiastic about investing in that relationship, right?
Handle and examine your minerals regularly to bond and strengthen your partnerships. Allow some time for an energy exchange to happen on a regular basis. Sit next to them as you charge them under the full moon or in the light of the sun on a lovely day. Spending quality time with your minerals is the same as investing in any other relationship.
The Secret Lives of Crystals
Try applying a lens of animism to your crystals. That is, entertain the idea that they are sentient beings on their own missions. Again, the metaphysical truth of this particular story is not provable, but this story none-the-less is effective in terms of enhancing your receptivity to your crystal allies.
Consider them as expressions of divine energy operating on a plane that we cannot perceive. Perhaps in that plane, we are perceived as some force of nature they use to get from point A to point B. Allow yourself room to speculate about their secret lives in another dimension as embodying this narrative of curiosity allows you the room to be open to messages from your crystals in ways that closed, transactional, and purely one-way relationships will not.
Just as we can partner with the elemental forces and feed energy to our thought-forms through those relationships, we can partner with crystals and access the ability to attune with their energy and eventually develop an intuitive understanding of when to apply that energy. When your crystals like you because you honor them, this becomes exponentially easier and more effective.
Alignment with Gemstones
The crystal structure is the key to your mineral’s ability to help you. Minerals maintain a very steady frequency. Thoughts and emotions are the two primary causes of fluctuations in a human being’s frequency. Attuning yourself to the steady energy of a calming specimen like lepidolite affects your frequency and thus your emotions and thoughts.
As you work with a particular stone and bond with it, attuning with its energy will become easier. Eventually, it feels as comfortable and natural to turn to your allies for help as it does to connect with your closest friends. This helps to speed up the gentle, subtle effects of your allies and increases their effectiveness.
Setting a Consensual Intention with your Crystal Allies
When asking your minerals to support you in a particular purpose like soothing anxiety or enhancing communication it is important to spend some time programming it to do so. Begin by asking your gemstone if it will help you with this intention. Pay attention to your body during this interaction. Do you perceive any resistance? If you experience anything you would characterize as contraction or a lessening of the vibration consider choosing another program for that particular specimen.
Once you’ve checked in with your crystal you can set about programming it. This generally involves holding your crystal while meditating on the intention you intend to instill. Mantras can also be particularly helpful as they use the power of your voice to affect the vibration of the crystal. If you work with sigils, designing one for your intention and sitting your crystal on it for a day or two can really help as well.
Respect Divergent Paths
Sometimes your allies must move on with their own mission. This can manifest by losing them, feeling compelled to give them away, or even theft. Don’t be a possessive miser over your crystals. It dishonors your bond. They have their own work to do. If your crystal leaves it was time for them to move on. Be a good friend to them and don’t begrudge them their own journey.
Sometimes crystals break. When this happens it could be time to give part of your crystal away or add another program to one of the pieces. The important thing is not to treat the incident as a tragedy. This is part of the evolution of your friend. Allow them to become what they need to become without sorrow.
If you are interested in learning about different gemstones, I invite you to visit my Gemstone Repository where you can browse by crystal type to learn more about what specific crystals have to offer in your magical life.
I hope this article has been helpful and possibly even challenging to more traditional ways of thinking about crystals. I hope you will feel empowered to comment below to get a conversation started about what stories you use to understand and build a relationship with your crystals. What narratives are you using when you engage with your minerals?